Falling From Grace
by BabyBlueEyes23
Summary: "If I had a flower for every time I thought of you, I could walk through my garden forever." -Alfred Lord Tennyson. "...she had always broken him with nothing more than the curve of her lips, and flutter of her lashes. " Dan/Blair 1-2 years post finale...Two-Shot.
1. Chapter 1

**Falling From Grace**

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 **Request~Tumblr~** _ **By DairXoXO~ Dair things you said when you were drunk**_

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" _If I had a flower for every time I thought of you, I could walk through my garden forever."_

-Alfred Lord Tennyson

 **Part 1:**

 **~0~**

He stands there, in the midst of over priced diamonds hanging dangerously off women's ears, and the aimless chatter of the latest gossip being transferred from one source to another… _Though he supposes that he couldn't be to frustrated in that, or else he would be nothing more than a hypocrite…_ Just like the lot of them.

The man had sworn to himself long ago that he would never again attend one of these infuriating _galas_ , infested by the overly wealthy and unbearably ignorant…Though this after all is the celebration for the reunification of his father and Lily Roads… _One that a peace of Dan will never understand,_ however it is also one that has made it so Rufus grins without thought in longer than the young adult can remember, so he supposes that he can celebrate _that_ if nothing else.

Although, despite Dan's reluctant acceptance of the reunified pair, he yet despises his even being here…He can sense _their_ starving gazes melting on to him, _more specifically the bare skin of his left ring finger._

Dan finds it odd that even post a year of their splitting up, people remain to act as if shocked in the news…As if they hadn't noticed the unhealthy imbalance between them.

At first, in the start of their reborn romance, Dan felt intent in placing her on top the pedestal that had once yearned for her. He had enjoyed writing of the alluring goddess in his dreams, of her _soft skin_ , and bubbling grin, of her endless locks of golden, and the mellifluous ringing to his ears whenever she grants her splendid peal of laughter. And she had made it abundantly clear in her overwhelming pleasure that she was content in starting again with the boy that she had once believed had seen her as more than a beautiful, _wild child_ …She had convinced herself that he was yet that wide eyed boy, a Virgin to the dark depths of her world, and had been _utterly_ in love with the Serena she had once so forcefully fought to be.

However, soon enough, Dan had realized that the entrancing vixen haunting his nightmares, had a wicked sort of grin, and smelled of vanilla rather than lilies… _A darker beauty, but one that he had been so much more allured by…Disregarding the fact that she had always broken him with nothing more than the curve of her lips, and flutter of her lashes_.

Around the same time, Serena had realized how _different_ the boy from Brooklyn had become… _No longer did he write of glimmer, and light_ , in contrast, he had acquired an infatuation for Russian' authors, and their depiction of death, and gloom…He had no longer seemed amused by her mindless chatter, or endearing sort of shallowness, and soon enough the _light that had always poured from her flawless form so effortlessly had begun to dwindle…_ And she had started to resent the once love of her life for it.

Rather than an actual discussion of their dissolving mess of a relationship, Dan had woken up one morning to find the diamond ring resting seamlessly on top a letter informing the man of her inability to stay in a relationship that made the both of them so miserable.

At one point, Dan suspects that he would have been shocked, _insulted even_ , though regardless of her insistence that she is no longer that spoiled, unaware girl from the Upper East Side, Dan had been preparing for such an act, he had felt nothing more than a dull aching when finding the note…Not for the love lost, _because in truth he had never truly fallen in love with her once more_ …But for the final slither of his innocence slipping from his grasp… _THe final spark of youthful optimism shattered._

Not wishing to relive any more of those memories of his past relationship with the girl he had believed to be his redemption, Dan takes a gulp of the bourbon in his hand, while doing so, his eyes linger across the hall, in search of a retreat route, wanting nothing more than to escape the judgmental glances tossed his way. Eventually he does spot the opening of a door, though his excitement is immediately extinguished once spotting the dark tresses that had invaded his thoughts for so many years… _Ever sense she had plucked his yet beating chest_ and fed it to her ravage beasts.

He never takes his eyes off her, it could have been a single minute, or an hour that had passed, he doesn't notice, nor does he care, his focus is intently on her…On the white gown she dawns, that makes her appear as if some sort of angel _and perhaps he would have believed it if he didn't know the truth of her_.

Her tresses are pushed back, coiled into a knot resting on top her head, and her features contort into various expressions, ones that perfectly match her facade of perfection…One that he had been able to crack through, and see all the imperfections pillaging her fragile being.

Eventually, she turns to his direction, the grin only faltering for a millisecond, though it immediately is restored, and she commences her walk towards him, making it so Dan's stomach lurches forward.

"Well if it isn't _Ms Gossip Girl_ herself," she greets in a shallow sort of apathy, and if Dan knew better, he could have sworn he heard the slightest bit of feeling… _Though he does know better_.

"Blair," he nods stiffly, well aware to the fact that her speaking with him is nothing more than a formality, to keep up her flawless reputation…However, he can't help but admire the way the light above glides over her doll like features romantically…His gaze always straying to that point on her left cheek, the scar that she has mastered in camouflaging beneath layers of makeup, and false smiles…But a feature he finds ever so intimate.

And suddenly, Dan is back in bed with her, kissing that spot ever so gently, an unspoken reminder that he finds every peace of her to be beautiful, and that he would never allow _anyone_ to harm her again, _physical or otherwise._

Although, he is brought out of his revery just as quickly as he had been lost in it, and attempts to continue on with the excruciating conversation with _her_.

"I didn't expect to find you here," he informs.

"Well Lily had always been a second mother to me, so I wanted to revel in her new found joy, _no matter how long it lasts_ ," the brunette snipes, very nearly soliciting a smirk from the boy. "Speaking of short lived joy," she rattles on smugly. "I was saddened when hearing of your and Serena's splitting up."

"And here I thought you would have been behind the pool on how long we'd last," he scoffs.

"Well, _even I_ expected you guys to last even a year." And for a moment, Dan can see that spark he had been so entranced by all this time, a spark he had only experienced with the beauty before him…But rather than exploring more deeply in the feeling it presents, he decides to cut the discussion short, remembering how difficult it had been to trudge out of the first time he had fallen for the pixilated glint in her brilliant orbs.

"I've gotta get going, give my best to Chuck and Henry." Dan intones.

"I will," she ensures, although, it's not before Dan spots the spark in her eye, the one he had accustomed to equating with her wanting to continue on with the conversation… _But they don't_.

They exchange one final smile, and then he walks off in the opposite direction, escaping her, and the crowd, however, he doesn't leave before turning around once more, and spotting her speaking with a woman twice her senior…He knows that speak of nothing pertaining to the brunette's interest, or else her features would be lit up with this infectious sort of passion, and her hands would dance freely in the air, with no true purpose, but to act as a release from her pent up energy that the topic may present…No, not a conversation she enjoys, but one she had chosen all those years ago, when the curve of her lips, and flutter of her lashes caused a joyous feeling to course through his veins, rather than one of defeat, and pain.

 **~0~**

 **A/N: Thank you so greatly for reading, please let me know what you think of this mess of a chapter, reviews are me lifeline3**

 **The final chapter should be up in the** **nedt few days or so...And "Standing in the Way of the Light" should have it's next chapter by next weekend...I'm a little scatter brained this week, but I promise nedt weekend :)**


	2. Chapter 2

**Falling From Grace**

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 **Part II**

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 **~0~**

In the midst of the conglomeration of rowdy snickers, and ear shattering cheers coming from the patrons of the bar, the young man joins in the raising of his glass, and clinking it with the others. He takes a quick swig of the bourbon, as his colleagues grant him endearing slaps on the back, and words of congratulations for his newly published novel reaching the top of the _New York Times best sellers list_.

With each congratulatory gesture thrown his way, Dan feels a swelling of pride pulse through him, a grin playing on the edges of his lips all the while. He thinks of how he has finally achieved the goal he had striven to accomplish sense a mere boy, staring amusedly at the dozens, _perhaps hundreds_ , of books his mother had collected throughout his youth…He recollects those especially lonely nights, when his parents were participating in another one of their screaming matches, and Jenny was fast asleep, he would choose randomly from the vast collection, and begin reading. Some nights held ancient civilizations, and courageous warriors, while others illustrated some sort of heart wrenching tale of lost love, or societal bounds. However, whatever the selection offered, it had always succeeded in straying his attention away from all that surrounded him, and offered a safe escape. Now, knowing that his work can act as a diversion to some other neglected youth, made it so his accomplishment offered so much more than his own personal joy.

Though, the jubilance of what his novel can provide is punctured each time the ebony haired man thinks of the being who had inspired it's creation, from the venom that had slipped from her plump lips, to the wicked glint in her chestnut pools, that can enchant the coldest of persons.

As the night proceeds, his gaze wanders the entirety of the bar, lost in his idl thoughts…That is until his gaze catches on her.

Dan gives a start, tossing the woman a double take. He is disbelieving in the utter absurdity of his observation, _no way in hell would Blair Cornelia Waldorf ever be caught in some sort of smoke clogged bar in the middle of Brooklyn_. Although, the longer he stares towards her direction, the more and more his sureness in it being her grows.

It would be a falsehood if he claimed that not every fiber of his being yearned to walk towards her…To sit besides the mahogany haired beauty,and act as if thrust back to so long ago, where he had promised her that he would be there _always_ …Though, prior to giving in, and having the slightest bit of contact with her, memories of the past come surging forward.

Suddenly the pain of watching her floating away washes over him…Watching her walk hand in hand with _him_ , marrying _him_ , having a child with _him_ …It all proves too much.

And those should have been enough, the remembrance of the absolute, and relentless ways she had crushed him beneath her tiny foot…The way that even the fondest of memories, when recollected, evoke a feeling as if the cold tip of a spear continuously pierces through his chest. Although, that is until her gaze flickers upwards, and catches with his. And just like so long ago, all of his strength, and resolve oozes from his form, and he finds himself walking towards the so obviously distraught enchantress.

"Danny!" She chirps, indicating that the vodka in her dainty hand is merely one of many before it. "Is that you?"

He grins downwards to the tragic sight before him, and the slight hiccup tailing her sentence.

"What are you doing here Blair?" Dan inquires as he takes a seat besides her.

"You don't sound happy to see me humphrey," she whimpers, as if a bruised pup.

"Just surprised Waldorf," he counters as he takes a sip of his cold beer.

"Well be happy Humphrey!" Blair exclaims in an odd sort of lulness.

Dan finds it so incredibly unnerving to watch the familiarly poised, and immaculate Blair Waldorf so uncaring and loose…The way she had acted only in the most intimate of moments, tucked away between their sheets, watching some peace of cinema, for the soul purpose of stripping it completely from any accolades or praise it had ever received.

Though watching her now, with her ordinarily prim locks, cascading down her back in disheveled waves, and the loose, ebony toned dress hanging so loosely off her petite frame, Dan wonders if he had ever truly seen Blair Waldorf in a vulnerable state.

"Today is a good day!" The brunette continues to cheer.

"And why's that Waldorf?" He questions with a slight exasperation coloring his tone.

"Because I'm free! I'm no longer part of Bass property!" She yells with a sardonic sort of chuckle. "Henry and I can run away! Maybe to Sweden? Or Norway?" She ponders excitedly, a tragic gleam in her eyes, a wave of tears threatening to trickle from them.

And with an impulse to _always_ protect this girl, who is yet haunted by the scars that pillage her fragile being, he takes grasp of her hand, giving it a compassionate squeeze.

"I'm not sad… _really_ ," she attempts to convince him with a tremor coming over her words. "I'm happy, I _need_ to be happy."

His heart seems to fall further and further down, with each unshed tear, she refuses to let out.

Sensing the questioning glances directed their way from the surrounding attendees, Dan assists Blair to stand from her seat and leads her outdoors, his loft being only a few blocks from where they stand.

 **~0~**

"I'm fine Humphrey," Blair dictates without granting him a chance to doubt her words. "I don't need you to take care of me…I'm happy…"

"Yeah, I'll believe you as soon as you do." He counters as he takes a seat besides her on the sofa.

"You still live here," Blair states matter of factly, sweeping her gaze around the familiar venue. "So is Sedgwick still a resident, or did he not pay his rent?"

" _Blair_ ," he reprimands.

"what!"

"Don't change the subject."

"There would have to be a subject spoken of in the first place if it would ever be _changed_ ," she snipes.

"Fine, then allow me to create a subject," Dan offers. "How about let's talk about you drinking alone, in some random bar."

"I wanted to be drunk, and alone…Next topic please." She articulates without a sliver of emotion.

"In a bar? In Brooklyn?" He continues to badger.

"Next topic," she snaps.

"Blair," Dan nearly pleads, taking grasp of her hand once more. "What the hell is happening?"

She shutters at the tender touch he grants her, unfamiliar with the amount of comfort he presents.

"I finally left him," she mutters in a trembling tone.

"Chuck?" Dan attempts to understand what she is speaking of.

"I hated my life so much, that I started to hate myself." She divulges ever so delicately.

"Blair, it's okay." Dan attempts to comfort her, despite his disbelief that she would ever part herself from the young billionaire.

"No it's not," she croaks. "I threw away my entire life…I waited and hurted so much for the hope that I could be with him…And do you want to know what our marriage was comprised of?"

The raven haired man besides her doesn't answer, hating the very sight of her breaking down right before him.

"It still hurt…Being around him, it hurt so bad. I was never happy, not really. He chose business trips, and screwing secretaries over me, _constantly_ …The only thing we did together was have sex, and yell at each other…He always drank so much." She splutters on.

"Blair," Dan tries to interject, though it proves a worthless act.

"The only reason we stayed together for so long is for Henry," she admits. "But now, I don't even know who I am. I feel like I'm just that seventeen year old girl who couldn't decide what college to go to after high school." She begins to melt, lost between her falling tears, and crackling voice.

"Your Blair Waldorf," Dan states. "You're the smartest person I know, you'll find your way."

And with a sniffle, the brunette wipes away the never ending stream, and looks into his deep orbs of onyx. "How can you still think that? After all I put you through, how can you even stand to be in this room with me?"

He sinks his teeth into his inner cheek, Dan knowing that he is literally unable to answer her, he not having a clue himself.

"Do you hate me?" She queries.

"Of course not." He ensures.

"But you hate Chuck, and we're basically the same person." She rambles. "But I'm worse, because I choose to live this life over and over again."

You and chuck are not the same person," he states. "You have your dark spots Blair, you can be manipulative, brash, and just plane mean." She flinches at his words, being well aware to the truth in them.

"But you are also fiercely loyal, and strong…And if you care about someone, you care about them with everything you have, no matter how they've treated you…That's what makes you… _You_ …You aren't just this all consuming force of good or evil…You prove that there's nuance in this world…That there's grey in even the darkest of places."

Her doe eyes widen in the slightest, unable to comprehend the sincerity in which he speaks.

"I loved you, I really did…" She discloses.

He freezes, knowing that her admission is merely caused by her drunkin state, though he could not help but wish it is the truth.

With a begrudging exhale, Dan moves so to find a spare blanket, for the brunette, shaking off her _proclamation of love_ , though before he can realize it, her lips latch on to his, and they fall back into one another.

Her fingers raking through his rebellious locks, and his pulling her so close that they would melt into one another.

However, the spur of weakness is broken the moment she moves to shed herself of the black dress she wears.

Dan knows that this will only result in another five years of pining after the girl he will never have. So he pulls away, informing her that he has a long day tomorrow.

"So you do hate me," she accuses as she stands alongside him, peering up at the boy standing nearly half a foot over her.

"No I don't Blair," he shoots back.

"Then why-"

"Blair I love you so much, that I _can't_ do this with you, _not again_. If you don't love Chuck, then don't use me as an excuse! Just figure out your own life!"

 **~0~**

Dan is not surprised in finding that the couch was vacant the next morning. Though the small slip lied upon the table had evoked a bit of a shock.

Dan picks up the sheet to read, _"I'll find my way_."

 **~0~**

 **A/N: Ughhhh i like legit rewrote this like 3 times, and it's still AWFUL AND TERRIBLE AND DISGUSTING! Like the ending is so tragically awful…I'm soooo sorry DairXOXO I know that you expected more, and I legit failed you….And I know that you like happier endings, and this is just zoo bad…I tried making the ending happy, that it was forced, and so bad…I'm sorry :S**


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